Question 1

LIKE ALL OTHER INDIAN SAINTS, WHY DO YOU NOT LIKE TO BE THE SAINT OF THE MASSES?

I AM NOT AN INDIAN -- nor am I an American or a Chinese. I don't believe in countries and I don't believe in any political divisions. Because of political divisions, humanity has suffered enough. No more of that nonsense. I have to live somewhere, so I live here, but I don't belong to India. I am not a nationalist, because all nationalism is in some way or other a form of fascism.

If you think you are an Indian or a German or a Japanese, you are a fascist -- and you are a danger to humanity, to peace, to love, to progress. You are not a religious person. A nationalist is never a religious person, cannot be. And a nationalist is a neurotic. The whole of human history is enough proof for it.

I am not an Indian, the first thing. And the second thing: I am not a saint, either.

You ask me: "Like all other Indian saints, why do you not like to be the saint of the masses?" First, I am not an Indian; and second, I am not a saint. The very claim that one is a saint is a condemnation of everybody else. In the very claim, others are condemned. If I am a saint then you are a sinner -- you have to be sinners. Otherwise how can I exist? To create one saint, you will need millions of sinners. It is very costly and uneconomical.

I would like a world where the sinners and the saints have disappeared. They are two aspects of the same coin. Lao Tzu says in his TAO TE CHING, "When the world was really natural and religious, there was not a saint and not a sinner." When the saints entered in the world, sin entered. When you say somebody is a saint, you have started divisions: the good and the bad, that which has to be done and that which has to be avoided. You don't accept life in its totality; you become a chooser.

And I teach choiceless awareness. I don't teach any choosing on your part, because whatsoever you choose is going to be a wrong choice -- because you will be there as a chooser. Accept the total and don't go on labeling things -- this is good and that is bad.

The division between the sinner and the saint is again an egoistic division. It is very oppressive. It condemns. It is very hateful. A saint looks at you with the eyes of "holier than thou" -- "I am the chosen one, and I am going to heaven and you all are going to hell." No, that is not my outlook at all. I declare you are also holy, divine. There exists not a single being who is not holy. To me the word "holy" means WHOLE. We belong to one whole; we are all holy. We are parts of one universal consciousness. We are ripples of one ocean. That's what Kabir was saying yesterday: the wave is not different from the ocean. Even the dirty wave is not different from the ocean. Even the dirty wave is as much part of the ocean as is the clean wave.

And what do you call dirty and what do you call clean? All are human conceptions. A person can be a saint in one country and may not be thought of as a saint in another. A person can be a saint in one century and may not be thought of as a saint in another. Just think: Mohammed with a sword in his hand. Can any Jaina or Buddhist call him a saint? It is impossible. A sword in the hand? Mohammed cannot be called a saint according to the Jainas and the Buddhists. Can Mohammedans call Mahavir or Buddha a saint, when people are suffering and being tortured and you are just sitting under your bodhi trees doing nothing? What type of sainthood is this? These are escapists, not saints.

You may be surprised to know that Jainas don't call Krishna a saint. They call him the greatest sinner ever because he persuaded Arjuna for the war. Arjuna was going to become a Jaina monk; he was saying, "I don't want all this war, all this violence. I want to renounce this world. This is not worth it," and Krishna persuaded him, "Do your duty. If God has willed so, let it be so. You simply say 'amen,' and go into it. You just become a vehicle, instrumental." Arjuna argued and argued, but finally Krishna persuaded him. So Jainas say the whole responsibility of the Mahabharat War, the great Indian war, goes to Krishna. He is responsible for the whole violence.

What have they done to Krishna, do you know? They have thrown him into the seventh hell. Of course, you are free to do so because you write your stories. In the Jaina PURANAS, Krishna is in the seventh hell, the worst hell, and he will have to be there up to the very end of this world.

Now who is a saint? How do you define a saint? And who is going to define and who has the criterion? Different philosophies will define differently.

I am not a saint, because I don't allow myself to be defined by anybody else. I am just myself. Call me sinner, call me saint -- that is your attitude -- but I am simply myself. And I leave myself undefined because, to me, reality is indefinable and I am part of reality, as you are part of reality.

When you want to renounce something, renounce definitions, renounce categories. Don't allow anybody to pigeonhole you.

And the moment you know your indefinable quality, you have transcended the world and you have attained to nirvana, you have become enlightened. An enlightened person is not a saint nor a sinner, cannot be. These are the categories of the unenlightened people. People who have not yet become aware, they think in terms of good and bad. One who has become aware knows nothing as bad, nothing as good. He is simply a witness to all.

So I am neither an Indian nor a saint.

"Like all other Indian saints, why do you not like to be the saint of the masses?" And who are these masses? These neurotic people all around, this insane world all around -- this is the mass? Who are these masses? These people who are blind, these are the masses? This vast darkness all around the earth...?

I don't belong to the masses; I cannot. I belong to the whole but not to the masses. To the masses belong the politicians. Because they have to exploit the masses and they have to lead the masses, of course they have to follow the masses too. If you want to become the leader of the masses, then you have to show that you follow the masses. That is the bribery you have to pay. If you want to exploit the masses, you become the saint of the masses.

I am not interested in any sort of exploitation. I am myself. If somebody wants to partake of the truth that I am, he can come. He can participate in my being.

And remember, I don't allow an easy approach, because I want everybody to know well that truth has to be paid for. You have to sacrifice much. It is not cheap. And I don't want to make it cheap. I don't allow you an easy approach towards me. I will create all sorts of hindrances between you and me. Only those who are REALLY seekers and have an intense fire in them will be able to approach me.

I am not interested in the masses at all. I am not a politician, and I am not interested in becoming a leader of the masses, nor the servant of the masses, because those are just diplomatic games, political games.

I am here, available. If you have the intense desire and thirst, you can approach me. And again I repeat, the approach is not easy; I will hinder you in many ways; I will test you in many ways. Only when I feel that you are really ready to surrender, to sacrifice yourself -- only when I see that truth is even more valuable to you than your life -- then you belong to me. Otherwise not.

This question has come from some Indian who has fallen in the wrong company here. He should not be here really. He has asked at least fifteen questions, all foolish. But he seems to be thinking that he knows much. Friend, you are in the wrong company. Escape from here. These are mad people. These are not scholars here, and I am not interested in scholars and I am not interested in pundits and people who think they know. If they know, they know. Why should they come here? What are you doing? Such a wise guy, what are you doing here? You should not be here in the first place. You know already? Very good. I am happy that you know. Then go to the masses and help the masses and become a saint of the masses. What are you doing here? Why are you wasting time here?

If you don't know, only then come to me. And if you don't know, then don't ask questions as if you know. Then ask questions out of your ignorance.

These questions are parrotlike things; you simply go on repeating words.

I have heard:

Once upon a time there was a parrot who could say only three little words: "Who is it?" One day when the parrot was alone in the house there was a loud knock on the door.

"Who is it?" screeched the parrot.

"It is the plumber," the visitor responded.

"Who is it?" repeated the parrot.

"It is the plumber, I tell you," was the reply from the outside. "You called me to tell me your cellar was flooded."

Again the parrot called, "Who is it?"

By this time the plumber became so angry that he fainted. A neighbor rushed over to see the cause of the commotion and, gazing at the unfamiliar face of the prostrate plumber, he asked, "Who is it?"

The parrot answered, "It is the plumber."

The pundit is a parrot, and a very foolish parrot at that, because parrots can be forgiven, but human beings cannot be forgiven so easily.

If you know, there is no need to be here. If you don't know, then please never ask questions from your knowledge, from your so-called knowledge. The first lesson here is to know that you don't know.

And I am not saying that you don't know. If you know, it is very good; but I am not interested in "knowers." You can go and teach the masses and help the poor people. It is because of you and people like you they are still poor, and it is because of you and people like you that they are still living in hell. And they will live in hell unless leaders like you stop serving them. Unless do-gooders like you stop doing good, they will remain in their misery.

But my interest is only in those people who have come to know that they don't know, that they are ignorant. In India it is very difficult. Knowledge has become part of the Indian blood. For centuries they have been like parrots, repeating SHASTRAS, scriptures -- memorizing -- not knowing anything but feeling very egoistic that they know. Whenever such a person comes here, I am  simply surprised why he should come here. Out of all the places, this place is not for you, people like you -- not at all. Come here only if you can throw your knowledge outside the gate. Where you leave your shoes, leave your knowledge too, your head too. Only then can you understand what is happening here. If it is not possible for you, there is no need to come.

And I am not interested in the masses, because if you are interested in the masses you have to be manipulated by the masses. I am not in any way a mass man, because I am very individual. I have my own way, my own life, my own style, and I don't allow anybody to interfere with it. If you want to become a man of the masses, the whole mass interferes with you. They teach you how you should sit and how you should stand and what you should say and what you should not say and what you should eat and what you should not eat and when you should go to bed and when you should get up. They teach you everything. This is very ironical that the people who think they are leaders of the masses and gurus of the masses in fact are the slaves of the masses. The masses teach them how to be. They don't have any freedom. And the masses go on looking from everywhere: "Are you really following what the mass wants to be followed? Are you really following the idea of the mass, what a saint should be like?" Or if you are not following, then you become a fallen saint; then you are a sinner.

I don't allow anybody to dictate my life. I don't allow anybody's life to be dictated by me. That's why I don't give any discipline to my people. I simply confer freedom on them and a responsibility to be free. Never interfere with anybody's life, and don't allow anybody to interfere with your life. Be individualistic. I am not a socialist, I am not a communist. I believe in the individual. I am absolutely an unashamed individualist.

I was moving around the country, I was moving among the masses for many years, but I was surprised to see the fact that the masses try to manipulate you. Rather than learning anything from you, rather than taking anything from you, they try to manipulate you.

Let me tell you one story I was just reading the other day:

Farmer Jones, of Clinton, New Jersey, made history at the State Fair one day when he bought a prize rooster for the highest price ever paid in the history of the poultry trade. When he got it home, however, he found he simply could not control the rooster's romantic tendencies. Not only the hens, but the ducks, geese, and swans, not to mention a few stray nanny goats and sows, fled before the rooster's tireless onslaughts.

Farmer Jones finally collared his gay bird and grumbled, "I did not pay a record price for you to waste your energies on every form of animal life in New Jersey. You are henceforth to confine your activities exclusively to the hens. Keep on the way you are going, and you will die of exhaustion."

The rooster made light of his owner's fears, but sure enough, Farmer Jones found him a few mornings later flat on his back, his eyes glazed, his legs straight up in the air, with a couple of buzzards ominously circling closer and closer above him.

"What did I tell you, you durn fool?" roared the farmer. "I knew the life you were leading would get you sooner or later!"

But then, to his amazement, the supposedly expired rooster opened one eye and whispered hoarsely, "Pipe down, will you? When you are trying to romance a buzzard, you have got to play it their way!"

If you want to become a saint of the masses, you can become one only in THEIR way. I am not interested in anybody else's way. I have found my way and my goal. I only allow people here who are ready to understand me and who are no longer obsessed with wanting to control me or are obsessed with wanting to be controlled by me. I am a free man, and I confer freedom on you. My sannyas is a declaration of freedom. It is not a discipline; it is a freedom.

The second question, from the same gentleman:

Question 2

IS IT NOT HARMFUL TO AN INDIVIDUAL AND ALSO TO SOCIETY TO LIVE WITHOUT THE BARRIERS OF NORMS? IF SO, THEN WHY DO YOU PREACH THAT YOUR SANNYASINS SHOULD LIVE AS THEY LIKE? MIND ALWAYS GOES THE WRONG WAY IF NOT RESTRICTED.

And who is going to restrict the mind? The mind of the society? Who is going to restrict the mind? The mind of the dead people, the dead moralists, the dead priests? Who is going to restrict the mind? You? Who are you except the mind?

The first thing to be understood: up to now humanity has lived under a curse, and the curse is that we have never been allowed to trust our nature. We have always been told, "Trust your nature and you will go wrong." Mistrust, restrict, control. Don't go according to your feel. We have been told that human nature is somehow basically evil. This is stupid, this is foolish and poisonous. Human nature is not evil. Human nature is divine. And if the evil has arisen, it has arisen because of restrictions. Now let me explain it to you.

You never see animals going to war. Of course there are fights sometimes, but they are individual fights -- not world wars with all the crows of the east fighting with all the crows of the west or all the dogs of India fighting all the dogs of Pakistan. It is not. Dogs are not so foolish, neither are crows. Yes, sometimes they fight, and there is nothing wrong in it. If their freedom is violated, they fight, but the fight is individual. It is not a world war.

Now what have you done? You have repressed humanity and you have not allowed individuals to be angry sometimes -- which is natural. The ultimate total result is that everybody goes on gathering his anger, goes on repressing the anger; then one day everybody is so full of poison that it explodes in a world war. Every ten years a world war is needed. And who is responsible for these wars? Your so-called saints and moralists, do-gooders, the people who have never allowed you to be natural.

Have you ever seen any dog killing another dog? Yes, they fight sometimes -- but just fight. Never has a dog killed another dog. Man is the only animal who kills another man. No crow has ever killed any other crow. No lion has ever killed another lion. Man is the only species of animal that kills its own kind. What has happened to man? Has he fallen lower than the animals? Then who is responsible? Only one thing is missing from the animals: they don't have saints and moralists. Priests -- Christian and Hindu and Mohammedan and Jaina -- they don't have. They don't have temples, mosques, Bibles and Vedas, that's all. That is the only difference.

Still there are a few primitive societies where, down through the ages, murder has never happened, because nobody has poisoned their mind for morality, nobody has trained them to be moral. They are natural people. When you are natural you function harmoniously. Sometimes you become angry, but that is natural -- and it is momentary.

A person who never becomes angry and goes on controlling his anger is very dangerous. Beware of him; he can kill you. If your husband never becomes angry, report him to the police. A husband who sometimes becomes angry is just a natural human being, there is no fear about it. A husband who never becomes angry will one day suddenly jump and suffocate you. And he will do it as if he is possessed by something. Murderers have been telling the courts down through the ages, "We committed the crime, but we were possessed." Who possessed them? Their own unconscious, repressed unconscious, exploded.

Have you watched a simple fact? If you have a picture of a beautiful bitch and bring it to a dog, he will not be interested at all. Dogs are not playboys. Not that they don't love bitches, they love tremendously, but in a picture, in pornography, they will not be interested. Because to create pornography you need saints. First repress the sexual instinct, the natural instinct, and tell people that it is wrong and evil. When they repress their sexual instinct, the repressed instinct finds outlets. Now it is difficult to go and watch a beautiful woman passing by the road. Then what to do? Lock your room and look at the PLAYBOY magazine. That is safer; nobody comes to know. You can hide your PLAYBOY magazine in the Bible and you can pretend you are reading the Bible. Only man is pornographic. No other animal is pornographic. These are simple facts.

Who has made man pornographic? Primitives are not -- still are not. Women are naked and move naked -- and without any fear. And what type of civilization do you say you are living in? A woman cannot pass through the roads without being pinched on the bottom, without being treated inhumanly. A woman cannot walk in the night alone. And this is civilization. And people are just obsessed with sex twenty-four hours a day. Who has given this obsession to man? Animals are sexual but not obsessed; they are natural. When sex becomes an obsession, it takes perverted forms; and these perverted forms are rooted in the moralizers and their teachings.

The so-called religious people-have never trusted human nature. They talk about trust, but they have never trusted God. They trust rules, laws; they never trust love. They talk about God, but the talk is just empty taLk. They trust in the police, in the court. They trust in hell fire. They trust in creating fear and in creating greed. If you are saintly and good and moral, you will have heaven and all the pleasures of paradise, FIRDAUS. Or, if you are not moral, then you will suffer hell fire -- and eternally, remember -- forever and forever.

These are fear and greed. They have been manipulating the human mind through fear and greed. They want you to become free of fear and greed -- and their whole teaching is rooted in it. They don't trust.

I trust you and I trust your nature. I trust animal nature. If nature is allowed its own course, yes, there will be a little anger sometimes and there will be a little flaring too, but nothing is wrong in it. It is human and it is beautiful. But there will be no war.

Psychologists say all your weapons are phallic. Because you could not penetrate a woman's body, you penetrate somebody's body with a sword. The sword is a phallic symbol. It is beautiful to love a woman, but to penetrate somebody's body with a sword is ugly. But this is how things have been.

You ask me: "Is it not harmful to an individual and also to society to live without the barriers of norms?" You have lived with barriers and with norms. What has happened? Look at the state of humanity today. It is a neurotic earth, a great madhouse. This is what has happened out of your norms, idealism, perfectionism, moralism. Out of all your commandments this has happened. The whole earth has turned into a neurotic camp, a big madhouse. And still you are afraid and still you go on. This is a vicious circle.

It is as if you make a person fast and when he fasts he becomes of course hungry and he starts looking obsessively for food. Then, thinking and seeing that he has become obsessed with food, you put him in chains, because otherwise he will break into somebody's kitchen. Now you put him in chains because you say that if he is not put in chains, he is dangerous -- he can break into somebody's kitchen. He cannot be relied upon. Then you put him in chains and you continue forcing him to fast. And then you become more and more afraid because he is getting mad. This is a vicious circle. In the first place, why has he become so obsessed with food? Your disciplining too much for fasting has created this illness. Fasting is not natural.

Yes, sometimes it happens in animals, but they don't BELIEVE in fasting, they don't have a philosophy of fasting. Sometimes it happens. One day the dog feels sick and he will not eat. This is natural. He simply does not eat because he does not FEEL like eating. He moves with his feeling; it is not a rule. Nobody has taught him to fast. In fact he will go and eat grass and vomit; the grass functions and helps him to vomit; he will vomit. Nobody has taught him. And he will not eat unless the desire to eat arises again. He moves with nature. When he feels like eating, he eats; when he does not feel like eating, he does not eat. This is what I would call the real life.

Sometimes when you feel like NOT eating, don't eat. I am not against fasting. I am against the philosophy of fasting. Don't make a rule that every Sunday you have to fast. That is foolish because how can you decide that every Sunday you will not feel like eating? Sometimes it may be Friday when you don't feel like eating. Then what will you do? You will force yourself to eat because it is Friday. When you feel like eating, eat. When you don't feel like eating, don't eat. Move with your feeling, and by and by you will be in tune with your nature.

To be in tune with nature is to be religious, to me. My definition of religion is: to be in tune with nature. And that is the meaning of the Indian word DHARMA; it means "nature," intrinsic nature. Trust nature and don't violate it.

But you have been taught to violate, so people who have lived starved lives, when they come here in this ashram -- which is a totally different phenomenon; they have never seen any ashram like this; no ashram like this has ever existed -- they are very much surprised. They come here to see sad people, dead people, dragging somehow, chanting mantras, reading books; and when they see people dancing -- men and women dancing together, holding hands, people hugging each other, people so full of love and joy -- they say, "What type of religion is this?" Religion has to be of the cemetery; it cannot be of life. Religion has to be negative. Men and women holding hands? This is dangerous. We cannot trust man, we cannot trust woman. This is dangerous; this is playing with fire. Create restrictions, make China walls....

No, I trust nature. I don't trust your laws. Your laws have corrupted the whole of humanity. Enough is enough! The time has come when all the old, rotten religions have to be burned completely and a totally new concept of religion has to arise -- life-affirmative, a religion of love and not of law, a religion of nature and not of discipline, a religion of totality and not of perfection, a religion of feeling and not of thinking. The heart should become the master, and then things settle on their own.

If you can trust nature, by and by you become quiet, silent, happy, joyful, celebrating -- because nature is celebrating. Nature is a celebration. Look all around. Can you see any flower which looks like your saints? Can you see any rainbow which looks like your saints? Or any cloud, bird singing, and the light reflecting in the river, and the stars? The world is celebrating. The world is not sad. The world is a song, an utterly beautiful song, and the dance continues. Become part of this dance and trust your nature.

If you trust your nature, by and by you will come closer to the cosmic nature. That is the only way. You are part of the cosmic. When you trust yourself, you have trusted the cosmic in you. Through that goes the way. From that small thread, you can reach to the very goal. Trusting yourself, you have trusted God who has made you. Not trusting yourself, you have distrusted God who has made you.

Who has given you sex? Of course God has given you sex. And who has taught you BRAHMACHARYA and celibacy? Your so-called saints. Your saints are against God. Who has given you hunger? God. And who has taught you fasting? Your saints.

I am for God and against your saints because your saints are against God. I teach you to be natural, to be spontaneous. And I don't teach you repression, restriction. I teach you freedom. If you restrict yourself too much and repress yourself too much, you will die before your death, and then you will live a stale life.

Let me tell you one beautiful story:

They tell about a wise old rabbi in the heart of Russia whose advice was slavishly followed by the members of his synagogue. One morning he was cornered by a troubled follower who explained, "I invested all my savings in two hundred chickens. When I went out to the coop this morning, a hundred of them had died. What should I do?"

"It is the voice of the Lord," quoth the rabbi. "Say a prayer. Then double the sales price of the chickens you have left and you will not have lost a single kopek."

But the next morning the villager was back to report, "Another fifty of my chickens perished last night."

"The ways of the Lord are sometimes mysterious," said the rabbi. "The fifty chickens that have survived are obviously the finest and the most valuable of the flock. Say another prayer of thanks and again double the sales price and you will not have lost a single kopek."

Alas! The next morning the last fifty chickens had bitten the dust. "Now what should I do?" wailed the villager.

"My son," quoth the rabbi, "I have lots more invaluable advice I could give you, but what use would that be to you? You have no more chickens."

When I look at your so-called religious people, I see they have no more life. No advice can be of any help to them. They are dead people. They should really be in their graves. They are walking illegally. They are ghosts; they are living a posthumous existence. They have committed suicide and are still walking and moving. I feel sorry for them, but these people are dangerous too because they go on doing the same to others that has been done to them by others. They go on teaching the same nonsense to other people. They go on crippling small children, paralyzing new life springs, poisoning new wells. That's what they can do. That's all that they know. They have been unable to live; they make others unable to live.

Watch. Never get into the trap of a man who is dead. It is better to be irreligious. It is better not lo believe in God and not to go to the church and the mosque and the temple -- but be alive, because life is the real church of God. Forget all about God and nothing is lost, but start destroying life and everything is lost -- because life is God.

I teach you life, love, because that's how I see God is.

And these bondages that have been created by religion are just in your idea. If you become aware, you can drop them immediately, instantly.

"How come," the hostess of a kid's birthday party asked a little girl in attendance, "that your younger brother is so shy? He has not moved from that corner all afternoon."

"He is not shy at all," answered the little girl. "He has never had on a necktie before -- and he thinks he is tied to something."

All your religions are just neckties. You are not tied to anything. It is just your idea that you are tied.

Drop all discipline and all ties and start moving and let God live through you -- and let God live through you in freedom. Trust freedom and trust God, and' you will never be a loser.

I am not saying there will always be flowers and flowers in your life. No, there are thorns, but they too are good. And I am not saying that your life will always be sweet. It will many times be very, very bitter, but that's how life grows -- through dialectics. I am not saying you will always be good. Sometimes you will be very bad, but one thing will be certain about you: when you are bad you will be authentically bad, when you are good you will be authentically good. One can trust, one can rely upon you. When you are angry, one can rely on it that your anger is not false, not cold; it is hot and alive. And when you love, one can rely upon you that it is hot and warm.

Remember, a person who cannot be angry cannot be loving. The roses grow only with the thorns. If you cannot be hotly angry in some moment, you cannot be hotly in love -- because you cannot be hot, you cannot be warm, you remain frozen. And if you have repressed anger too much, you are always afraid to move in love, because who knows?

A man came to me and he said he could not move into deep orgasm while making love. A perfectly healthy young man. What has gone wrong with him? He cannot move into orgasm; or at the most the orgasm remains only local, it does not spread all over his body. And a local orgasm is not of much significance. When the orgasm is in the total and every fibre of your being throbs with new life -- you are refreshed, rejuvenated -- for one moment you become part of God, part of the tremendous creativity that surrounds you. You lose yourself. You are no longer an ego, you melt. You don't have any boundaries then.

I inquired about his anger. He said, "But why are you asking about anger, because my question is about love? I cannot love deeply." I said, "Forget about love because first we have to think about anger. Because if you cannot love deeply, that means you cannot be angry deeply." He was surprised, but that's how it turned out to be. From his very childhood, he had been brought up in a very religious family and he had always been told not to be angry, to control anger. He has learned to control. He has become so efficient that he does not know that he controls. He has really become a controller. Now the control has become unconscious. He is a very controlled person. Everybody respects him -- in the society he will succeed everywhere. He IS a success. But in his inner life he is a failure. He cannot even love.

I told him, "You start by being angry, because my understanding is that when you come to a peak in your orgasm, you cannot allow it because, if you allow it, you are afraid maybe with it the anger, the repressed anger, may also be allowed." He said, "What are you saying? I always dream that I have killed my woman. And I always dream that 1 kill her, suffocate her, while making love to her. And I am afraid that if I lose control I will not be able to resist the temptation to suffocate and kill her."

Now the anger has become a great force inside him. He is so afraid to decontrol, how can he love? It is impossible. And if you miss love, you will miss prayer and you will miss God too.

This repressive society, this repressive civilization has failed utterly. Yet you are not aware.

I have heard a beautiful story:

In the days when Khrushchev (and, somehow, we miss him) was Mr. Big in the Soviet Union, he often admitted that Stalin treated him occasionally like a court jester or clown and ordered him, "Dance the gopak." "And", Khrushchev would add, "I danced."

Somebody in the crowd would always cry out, "Why did you let him make a fool of you? And Khrushchev would demand sternly, "Who asked that question? Stand up!" Inevitably, nobody answered, and after the appropriate pause, Khrushchev would conclude, "That, comrades, is why I danced too."

Just out of fear, Stalin can kill.

Stalin is death, and your priests have been death, representatives of death not of God.

I represent life. Your priests have been in conspiracy with death and they have crippled life. Your priests talk about God, but it seems they are partners with the devil. A great conspiracy....

And they have destroyed the whole human mind. They have uprooted you from your feeling part; they have made you hang in your head. Now you don't know how you feel; that's why you cannot trust your feeling and you have always to look to somebody to tell you what to do. In the childhood the parents go on telling you do this and don't do that. Then in the school, the teacher; then in the university, the professor; then in the society, the boss, the politician, the leader. Everywhere you are being told what to do and what not to do. And you are always seeking somebody to dominate you so that you can become dependent. Because you don't know how to get commandments from your own heart, from your own being, you always depend on some authority outside.

This is ugly, this is miserable, this should not be.

I am not an authority here. At the most a midwife, but not an authority. I can help you to be reborn, but I cannot dominate you, I cannot dictate things to you. You hanker for it. People come to me and they say, "Osho, tell us exactly what we have to do." But why can't you listen to your own heart? You have life bubbling inside you. The spring is there, the source is there. Go in. I can tell you how to go in, I can teach you the devices for how to go in, but take your commandments from there. There is the Bible inside you -- the REAL book, the Veda, the real knowledge.

Get your instructions from there, and once you start getting your instructions from your innermost core, you will be a free man and a happy man. A free man is happy; an unfree man is never happy. You are not meant to be slaves. You are meant to be masters. That's why I call my sannyasins "swami"; swami means a master, one who has taken his reins in his own hands.


Question 3

BELOVED OSHO, WHILE I WAS ROAMING AROUND NEAR BOMBAY, I STOPPED AT MUKTANANDA'S ASHRAM FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS. UNEXPECTEDLY, WHILE I WAS THERE HE POURED ON ME MUCH GRACE AND VERY SPECIAL ATTENTION, EVEN THOUGH THE FIRST THING I SAID WAS I AM A DISCIPLE OF BHAGWAN SHREE RAJNEESH. I FELT HONORED BY HIM YET WAS A BIT UNCOMFORTABLE. MAINLY, I FELT GUILT TOWARD YOU. I AM BACK NOW TO YOU BUT VERY CONFUSED. PLEASE HELP ME.

First thing, whatsoever you do, never feel guilty -- whatsoever you do. To go to Muktananda's ashram is not a sin. It may be your karma, but it is not a sin. You have not violated any rule, because I don't have any rules. How can you violate? I don't give you rules, because you are such neurotic people that out of the rules you will create guilt. Never associate guilt with me, around me, in association with me. I don't want you to create any guilt, to ever feel guilty. Whatsoever you do, do it totally.

Now, you have been to Muktanand's ashram: you should have been there totally. You must have been thinking about me there, and you must have been feeling guilty. You have been taught wrong things.

To be with me is not a monogamy. It is not a husband-wife relationship, that the wife cannot look at another man or the husband cannot look at another woman. I make you absolutely free. How many times do I have to repeat it? You can go to Muktananda or anywhere -- to hell even, you can go. And if you wander around Bombay too much, suddenly one day you will find yourself in hell, remember. Because a direct route goes from Bombay to hell.

And this is surprising how you managed to reach Muktananda's ashram by wandering around Bombay. It is far away from Bombay. But it may be the same guilt: you cannot even take the responsibility that "I WENT." You cannot even say that? How poor. You cannot even take your responsibility that "I went to Muktananda's ashram." You say, "... while I was roaming around near Bombay, I stopped at Muktananda's ashram -- FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS"! Just look at the absurdity.

Be responsible. If you have been there, you have been there, and nothing is wrong in it. Muktananda is also God; maybe a mediocre god but still a god. You are allowed to go to mediocre gods too. And don't feel guilty; because you are already punished. Muktananda is a punishment. What more punishment do you need?

Remember responsibility always. Whatsoever you do, do consciously; don't wander. The questioner is trying to say that it was not conscious, deliberate -- "by chance." But nothing is by chance; everything is your responsibility. Don't be accidental. This is one of the ways how we try to throw responsibility onto others' shoulders. Your act is your act. Next time, please, if you go, there is no need to wander so much. You can go directly.

And then "a couple of days" -- just by wandering. A couple of minutes may have been okay, but a couple of days means you wanted to be there. But nothing is wrong in it. What I am insisting on is: accept it, that you wanted to be there.

And it is good. I know how you feel. You are shopping for a guru, and it is a supermarket. There are many gurus in the world, and how can you just decide that this man is the right one? You will have to go here and there; sometimes to Muktananda, sometimes to Sai Baba, sometimes to somebody else. Nothing is wrong in it.

If something of me has penetrated your heart, you will come back. If not, then it is good that you don't come back. If something beneficial happens to you there, then allow it to happen, with all my blessings, because that is what we are trying to do. If it happens in Muktananda's ashram, good. It should happen, that is the point. I am not in any obsession with Poona, that it should happen in Poona. If your enlightenment happens in Muktananda's ashram, very, very good. I will be happy, tremendously happy it happened. Poona is not the point. This small piece of land... how many people can become enlightened here? The whole world is yours; become enlightened anywhere you want, choose any place.

And it is natural for the mind to go here and there. One wavers a little and then by and by one settles. And it is good that one should waver a little. So don't force yourself to be here if the idea arises, which is natural, to go and visit some  other ashrams and see what is happening there. You may be just deceived here. Who knows? I may be just a fake, a fraud. So who knows? Just go and see what is happening there. Maybe something is really happening there and you are benefited. Good. If not, I am available here; you can come back. But don't create any guilt.

"Unexpectedly, while I was there he poured on me much grace and very special attention, even though the first thing I said was I am a disciple of Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh." That's why! It is so simple and so political; there is nothing much in it, not a mystery. Next time go without wearing orange, without a MALA, shave your head so he cannot recognize you; and then see.

Mulla Nasrudin died. He went to heaven, but of course, as you are concerned with going to some other ashram, he lived in heaven a few days and then he said to God, "I have never seen hell. And who knows, maybe things are better there. And rumors have come that they have air-conditioned it and much dancing and drinking goes on there and all the beautiful people of the world are there. Here there are only sad saints, holy people, sitting dusty and dirty under the trees. No song -- not even a newspaper! No radio, no tv. And rumors are that all the politicians are there and all the scientists are there and they have created a beautiful place."

God said, "You can go and see and have a visit." And a two-days' visa was given to him.

He went and he was received with great celebration. And it was really beautiful; he had never even dreamt of such a beautiful place. He thought, "What nonsense! Even God would enjoy to be here. Nobody knows that hell has changed completely, and we go on believing in old books where heaven was praised and hell was condemned. Now things are totally different; things are the other way! "

For two days he enjoyed. He gambled and drank and danced, and all the beautiful women from Cleopatra to Marilyn Monroe -- all were there. It was tremendously beautiful, and two days just passed like two seconds. He was very sorry.

He went back and said to God, "I don't want to be in heaven. Please give me a permanent visa; I want to go there."

God said, "But remember, once you have a permanent change of address, you will not be allowed to come back."

He said, "Who wants to come back? Don't waste time! And I don't want to go through the red tape. Give me an order immediately that I want to go to hell. I don't want to stay here a single moment."

And of course, it was arranged. He reached hell, and suddenly almost a dozen devils jumped on him and started beating him. He said, "What are you doing?" And he looked around; that beautiful scene was not there -- all was fire and flames. And he said, "This looks like the old hell. Have I missed something? Have I reached a wrong place?"

They said, "No, you are in the right place."

"But," he said, "just the other day I was here for two days and it was so beautiful."

They laughed and said, "That was not the real hell. It was just a showpiece for the visitors. Now you have come as a permanent resident here; now you will know the real thing."

So next time, don't talk about me. If you talk about me, certainly, it is simple and diplomatic that much grace and love and attention should be given to you.

And it worked too: "I felt honored by him...." Special attention; who will not feel honored? Here I never give any special attention to anybody. Even if you want to see me you will have to wait for days. The appointment is not so easy. And I don't pay any special attention to anybody, because here I really mean to work, I mean business.

Special attention is given to you just to buttress your ego... and that's how things go on. The guru buttresses the ego of the disciple and the disciple buttresses the ego of the guru; and a mutual understanding happens and things go well and everything runs smoothly. They go on lubricating each other. Here, nothing of that sort.,I am very businesslike; I don't give any special attention to you. Because the very desire to get special attention is wrong. What are you going to do with the special attention you get? You will feed your ego. Everybody wants to be specially attended to. Why? Because everybody wants to be somebody special.

So of course, there is nothing mysterious in it: "I felt honored by him...." The special attention worked on your ego.

If you want to be here with me, remember, I am not playing any game of the ego with you. Things are straight, direct. You are here to dissolve yourself, and I am here to help you die. It is going to be arduous, but all growth is painful.

But if you want children's toys, then you can go anywhere you want to. Maybe you need them right now. Maybe you are still childish, juvenile, not a mature person. Then you will need something like that.

But never feel guilty. I don't want you to feel guilty for anything, whatsoever it is. Unconditionally, I want to say to you that I don't want to create guilt in you.

Question 4

IT IS FOUND THAT REMEMBRANCE OF "BELOVED' OR "DARLING" IS MORE SPONTANEOUS AND EASY THAN THE REMEMBRANCE OF "GOD" OR "SUPREME SELF." WHY IS IT SO?

It is so simple. Why should it not be so? Your beloved is real; your God is just a bogus concept, empty, immaterial, just a word. If you go deep in it, there is nothing in it. Your God is just a word; your beloved is a reality. My God is a reality; your God is not a reality. Your God is just a word heard unconsciously; it goes on reverberating, vibrating in you, but it is just a word. What does it mean? It has no meaning. Your beloved, of course, is significant.

That's why I say forget about God the concept, the word, the theological idea; rather, love -- love your beloved -- and love her so deeply, or him so deeply, that a moment comes when you can feel the beloved not as the body but as the soul. That will be the door of the temple of God. Love totally, and through total love, prayer becomes, by and by, a natural phenomenon. Love is transformed into prayer. Each beloved, each lover, becomes a window to God.

So I don't teach you: go against love. I teach you: go through love. That is the whole difference between my teaching and the teaching of the traditional, so-called saints. I teach you go through love; that is natural. But go so totally, so utterly lost in it that by and by it is not just a superficial thing; you can start feeling the soul of the other. In that moment, you will be able to see the whole of existence filled with soul.

If you have looked into the eyes of your beloved and seen something of the ineffable, the indefinable, then look at the tree and you will see the same thing there too. Then look at the rose and you will find the same eyes there too. Then run around and you will see he is everywhere. But the first glimpse will be in your beloved; and that is natural.

Love is the natural way to God.

Two very small boys were playing marbles together when a very, very pretty little girl walked by. One of the boys exclaimed fervently to his pal, "Brother, when I stop hating girls, she is the one I am going to stop hating first!"

From the very childhood, from the very beginning, love takes hold of you. Maybe you are not yet able to define it, maybe you can still think only in terms of "hate," that you will "not hate" this person. It is a negative definition of love, still love is negative -- but by and by it will become positive. By and by even the positivity will disappear; it will become existential. Then it is prayer.

If you can go on diving deep into love, one day you will find that you have arrived at God.

Mistress Mulla Nasrudin complained to the school principal that her thirteen-year-old son seemed to be spending most of his time staring at the girls in their summer miniskirts. "Don't worry," were the principal's reassuring words. "He is just going through a stage that won't last more than the rest of his life."

Love is something that lasts your whole life. You begin in love; you should end in love. Then the circle is complete. You are born out of love; you should die in love. Then the circle is complete.

But your God is bogus, your God is out of fear; or your God is just a concept given by others to you.

A little girl -- 1974 model -- had been on dozens of jet planes in her time, but this was her first overnight journey in an upper berth of a Pullman car. Somewhat frightened, she called out at regular intervals to her mother below, "Mommy, are you there?"

After many hours of this a gentleman across the aisle piped up, "Yes, mommy is here. And I am here too. We are all trying to get a little sleep. So for heaven's sake, stop that confounded noise."

There was a moment of silence, and then a quavering little voice called out, "Mommy, was that God?"

That's your concept of God: fear. Your God means your father, magnified; your headmaster, magnified; or the head constable. What do you mean by your God? You don't have any experience.

Rather than thinking of God as your father, it is better to think of God as your beloved; because a father is an authoritative figure, unnatural, social, formal. Once it never existed; sometime it may disappear again. It is better to think of God as your beloved; and it is better to move through the beloved towards the ultimate beloved. You will be moving naturally, spontaneously, and there will be no repression, and there will be no unnecessary harshness in your lifestyle -- you will not become a masochist.

And if you can go to God laughing, why go weeping? If you can go to God dancing, then why not go dancing? I don't teach you a God who is against life and love. I teach you a God who is the very depth, the very ground of life and love.

You can drop the word "God" if it creates trouble for you. Replace it with "love," and let "love" to be with a lowercase l, not with a capital L. Don't make much fuss about it. A lowercase l, ordinary love -- the love that happens between two friends, that happens between a husband and wife, that happens between a child and a mother, that happens, always happens, in relationship.

Become more and more loving and you will be closer to God, closer and closer. The day your whole being is a state of love, you have arrived: God is revealed to you. Yes, Jesus is right when he says, "God is love." But my insistence is even more than Jesus'; I say, "Love is God." Jesus says God is love; I say love is God. And the word "God" has become very dirty because it has been used and misused by politicians and priests for so long. It is a dirty word now; you can drop it. "Love" is fresher, more virgin, more existential, truer.

Love, and whomsoever you love, you will find he has become a God. Love, and you will always find God in the end.