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THE TENTH SAYING
JESUS SAID: IT IS
IMPOSSIBLE FOR A MAN TO MOUNT TWO HORSES AND TO STRETCH TWO BOWS; AND IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR
A SERVANT TO SERVE TWO MASTERS, OTHERWISE HE WILL HONOR THE ONE AND OFFEND THE OTHER.
Everybody is
already mounted on two horses, everybody is stretching two bows -- not only two but many.
That's how anguish is created, that's why you are constantly in anxiety. Anxiety shows
that somehow you are mounted on two horses. How can you be at ease? Impossible, because
the two horses are moving in two directions, and you cannot move anywhere.
With one horse
movement is possible, you can reach somewhere. With two horses movement is impossible,
they will negate each other and you will not reach anywhere. And this is the anxiety --
that you are not reaching anywhere. Deep down this is the anguish: that life is slipping
out of your hands, time is becoming less and less, death is coming near and you are not
reaching anywhere. It is as if you have become a stagnant pool, just getting dryer and
dryer and dying. There is no goal, no fulfillment. But why is it happening? -- because you
have been trying to do the impossible.
Try to understand
the mind as it functions in you, then you will be able to understand what Jesus means. You
want to be as free as a poor man because only a poor man can be free -- he has no burden,
he has nothing to protect, you cannot rob him. He is unafraid. You cannot snatch anything
from him because he has nothing; with nothing, he is at ease; with nothing as his
possession, nothing can be stolen from him. Nobody is his enemy because he is not a
competitor at all, he is not competing with anybody.
You want to be as
free as a poor man, as a beggar, but you also want to be as secure as a rich man, as safe
as an emperor. The rich man is safe, the rich man is secure, he feels more rooted.
Outwardly, he has made all the arrangements, he is not vulnerable: he has protections
against death, you cannot murder him so easily, he has an armor. And you would like to be
free like the beggar and to be secure like an emperor -- then you are mounted on two
horses and it is impossible to reach anywhere.
You love a person,
but you want the person to behave like a thing, completely in your hands. But you cannot
love a thing, because a thing is dead and cannot respond to you. So if the other is really
a person he cannot be possessed, he is like mercury: the more you try to keep him in your
fist, the more he goes out -- because to be a person means to be free. If he is a person,
you cannot possess him; if you can possess him, he is no longer a person and you will not
be able to love him. Then he is just a dead thing. Who can love a dead thing?
You are mounted on
two horses. You want a person like a thing, which is impossible! A person has to be free
and alive, and only then can you love him. But then you feel difficult, you start
possessing, and then you start killing him; you are poisoning. If he allows you this
poisoning, sooner or later he will be just a thing. So wives become decorative pieces in
the houses, husbands become just watchmen -- but love disappears. And this is happening in
all directions.
There is doubt in
you because doubt has its benefits: it gives you more calculating power, it gives you more
protection, nobody can deceive you easily. So you doubt -- but then doubt creates anxiety
because deep down you are uneasy. Doubt is just like illness. Unless you have trust you
cannot be at ease, because doubt means wavering and wavering is uneasy. Doubt means,
"What to do -- this or that?" Doubt means, "To be or not to be?" --
and it is impossible to decide.
Not even on a
single point is decision possible through doubt. At the most, you can decide with the part
of the mind which becomes the majority. But the minority is there, and it is not a small
minority. And because you have chosen against the minority, the minority will always be
looking for the situation when it can say you have chosen wrongly. The minority is there
to rebel; it is a constant turmoil within you.
With doubt there is
uneasiness. It is an illness, it is just like any illness -- it is a mental illness. So a
man who doubts becomes more and more ill. But you cannot deceive him easily because he is
more cunning, he is more clever in the ways of the world. You cannot deceive him, but he
is ill. So there is a benefit -- he cannot be deceived -- but there is a loss, a great
loss. The benefit is at a very great cost: he remains wavering, uneasy, he cannot decide.
Even if he decides, that decision is just the major portion deciding against the minor. He
is divided, there is always conflict.
Trust you also
want. You also want to be in faith, because faith gives you health; there is no
indecisiveness, you are completely certain. Certainty gives you a happiness: there is no
wavering, you are unwavering; you are whole, not divided -- and wholeness is health. Trust
gives you health, but then you become vulnerable, anybody can deceive you. If you trust
you are in danger, because there are people all around who would like to exploit you, and
they can exploit you only when you trust. If you doubt, they cannot exploit.
So you are mounted
on two horses, doubt and faith -- but you are doing the impossible. You will remain
constantly in anxiety and anguish, you will deteriorate. In this conflict of the two
horses you will die. Some day or other there is going to be an accident -- that accident
will be your death: you will be finished before you have reached anywhere; you will be
finished before the flowers come; you will be finished before you come to know what life
is, what it means to be. The being will have disappeared.
JESUS SAID: IT IS
IMPOSSIBLE FOR A MAN TO MOUNT TWO HORSES....
But every man is
trying to do the impossible, that is why every man is in trouble. And I say to you: this
is in every direction. So there are not only two horses, there are millions of horses
altogether, and every moment you are living a contradiction. Why does it happen? The
mechanism has to be understood, only then can you drop it. Why does it happen? The way
every child is brought up is the cause. The way every child enters into this world of mad
people all around is the cause. They create contradictions, they teach you contradictory
things.
For example, you
have been taught: Love the whole of humanity, be brotherly to each and everyone, love thy
neighbor as thyself. And simultaneously you have been educated, brought up, conditioned,
to compete, to compete with everyone. When you compete, the other is the enemy, not the
friend. He has to be defeated, he has to be conquered; really, he has to be destroyed. And
you have to be ruthless, otherwise the other will destroy you. If you are a competitor,
then the whole society is the enemy, nobody is a neighbor, nobody is a brother. And you
cannot love -- you have to hate, you have to be jealous, you have to be angry. You have to
be continuously ready to fight and win, and it is a hard struggle -- if you are
tender-hearted you are lost.
So be strong and
violent and aggressive. Before the other attacks, you attack him. Before it is too late,
you attack and win; otherwise you will be lost because millions are competing for the same
thing, you are not alone. And how can a mind which is in competition be in love with its
neighbor? It is impossible! But both teachings have been given to you: you have been
taught that honesty is the best policy, and also that business is business! Both things
together, both horses have been given to you together. And a child, unaware of the ways of
the world, cannot see and feel the contradiction.
To feel the
contradiction a very mature intelligence is needed; a Jesus, a Buddha is needed to feel
the contradiction. A child is unaware of the ways of the world, and the teachers -- the
father, the mother, the family -- are persons he loves. He loves them -- how can he think
that they are creating contradictions in him? He cannot even imagine it because they are
his benefactors: they are kind to him, they are bringing him up. They are his source of
energy, life, everything. So why should they create contradictions? A father loves, a
mother loves, but the problem is that they were also brought up in the same wrong way and
they don't know what to do except to repeat. Whatsoever their parents taught them, they
are teaching their children. They are simply transferring a disease; from one generation
to another the disease is being transferred. You may call it the 'treasure', the
'tradition', but it is a disease. It is a disease because no one becomes healthy through
it.
The whole society
goes more and more neurotic. And a child is so simple, so innocent, that he can be
conditioned into contradictory ways. By the time he realizes the contradiction it is too
late. And it happens that almost your whole life is lost, and you never realize that you
are mounted on two horses. Think about this contradiction and find it, try to find it in
your life. You will find millions of contradictions there -- you are a confusion, a mess,
a chaos.
When people come to
me and they ask for silence, I look at them and I feel very much, because it is almost
impossible -- silence can exist only when all the contradictions have been dropped. It
needs arduous effort, very penetrating intelligence, understanding, maturity. Nothing is
there, and you think that just by repeating a mantra you will become silent? If it were so
easy, then everybody would have become silent. You think just by repeating "Ram,
Ram," you will become silent? Riding on millions of horses, repeating the mantra, you
will become silent? That mantra will be still one more horse, that's all -- more confusion
will come out of it. If one more horse is added, you will be more confused through it.
Look at the
so-called religious man: he is more confused than the worldly because new horses have been
added. The man who lives in the market, the world of the market, is less confused because
he may have many horses, but at least they all belong to this world; at least one thing is
the same, similar -- they all belong to this world. And this religious man, he has so many
horses: those which belong to this world and some new horses he has added which don't
belong to this world. He has created a greater rift: the other world, God, the kingdom of
God, and he continues to move in this world. He becomes more confused, more conflict
arises in his being. He is rent apart, he is not together; every fragment is falling
apart, all his togetherness is gone -- this is what neurosis is.
The way you are
brought up is wrong, but nothing can be done now because you have already been brought up,
you cannot move back. So you have to understand it and drop it through understanding. If
you drop it because I say so, then you will add more horses. If you drop it through
understanding -- because you understand the whole thing and hence it is dropped -- then no
more horses will be added. On the contrary, old horses will be released to their freedom,
so they can move and reach their goals... and you can move and reach your own goal.
For not only are
you in difficulty, your horses are also in very great difficulty because of you; they
cannot reach anywhere either. Have pity on yourself and on your horses, both. But this
should be done through understanding -- your understanding, not my teaching or Jesus' or
Buddha's. They can show the path, but if you follow without understanding you will never
reach the goal.
Now try to
understand.
JESUS SAID: IT IS
IMPOSSIBLE FOR A MAN TO MOUNT TWO HORSES AND STRETCH TWO BOWS; AND IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR A
SERVANT TO SERVE TWO MASTERS, OTHERWISE HE WILL HONOR THE ONE AND OFFEND THE OTHER.
Why is it
impossible, and what is impossibility? An impossibility is not something which is very
difficult, no. Howsoever difficult a thing may be it is not impossible, you can achieve
it. By impossibility is meant something which cannot be achieved whatsoever you do; there
is no way, no possibility to do it. When Jesus says impossible he means impossible, he
doesn't mean very difficult -- and you are trying to do the impossible. What will happen?
It cannot be done, but you will be undone through it. It cannot be done, but what will
happen to you who have been making an effort to do the impossible? You will fall apart. It
is not possible to do it, but doing it, you are undoing your own life. This will happen,
this has happened.
Look at people who
doubt. Have you seen a man who has doubt and who does not have faith? If you see a man who
only has doubt you will see he cannot live, it is impossible to live. Go to the madhouses:
there you will find people who have doubts about everything. Then they cannot even move,
because they doubt even a simple action.
I knew a man who
was so full of doubt that he could not go to the market -- and the market was just a few
yards away. He would come back again and again to check the lock. And when we were
children we used to play tricks on that poor man. He would be going out and we would ask
him, "Have you checked the lock?" He would be angry but he would go back to
check it. And he was alone, there was nobody else -- and so afraid! He would be taking his
bath in the river and somebody would say, "Have you checked the lock?" He would
be very angry, but half way through his bath, immediately he would come out and run to the
house to check. This is the perfect skeptic. If doubt goes too far you will enter into a
madhouse, because then you doubt everything. This is one type of man who is completely
broken into fragments.
If you choose faith
against this, you will become absolutely blind. Then anybody can take you anywhere, then
you have no intelligence of your own, no alertness of your own. Around Hitlers you will
find this type of person -- they have trusted and through trust they have lost.
Because of this you
are trying the impossible: to make a compromise, not to go to this extreme, because there
neurosis comes; not to go to the other extreme, because there blindness happens. Then what
to do? Then simple reasoning says, "Just compromise both, half and half -- a little
doubt, a little faith." But then you mount on two horses. Is it not possible to live
without doubt and without faith?
It is possible! In
fact, that is the only possible way to grow: to live without doubt and without faith; just
to live simply, spontaneously, with awareness. And this is really what trust is -- not
trusting somebody else. This is trusting life: wheresoever it leads, without doubt,
without faith, you simply move, you move innocently.
A man who doubts
cannot move innocently. Before he moves he will think, and sometimes he will think so much
that the opportunity is lost. That's why thinkers never do much. They cannot act, they
become simply cerebral, because before action they must decide, they must come to a
conclusion; and they cannot come to a conclusion, so how can they act? Then it is better
not to act, and wait. But life will not wait for you.
Or you become
faithful, believing, a blind man. Then anybody, any politician, any madman, any pope, any
priest can lead you anywhere. They themselves are blind, and when the blind lead the blind
there is bound to be catastrophe. What to do? Reasoning says, ordinary reasoning says,
"Make a compromise."
One scientist,
B.F.Skinner, did an experiment worth remembering. A white mouse was the object of
experiment. The white mouse was starved for two or three days so it was very hungry;
really, it was just hunger, ready to jump and eat anything available. Then it was put on a
platform. Just below the platform there were two similar boxes, the same color, same size,
and both boxes contained food. The white mouse could jump in either the right box or the
left.
The mouse
immediately jumped, not even a single moment of thought. But whenever he jumped into the
right box, he would get an electric shock. And there was a trapdoor, so he would fall
inside another box through the trapdoor and would not be able to reach the food. Whenever
he jumped into the left box, there was no shock and there was no trapdoor, so he would
reach the food. Within two or three days he learned the trick: he would jump in the left
box and avoid the right.
Then Skinner made a
change, he changed the places of the boxes. The mouse jumped into the left box and found
that there was an electric shock. Now it was disturbed, confused as to what to do and what
not to do. So before jumping it would tremble and waver, doubtful. This is how a
philosopher is -- a white mouse, trembling, doubtful what to do: left or right, and how to
choose? And who knows...? But then it got accustomed again. Then Skinner again made a
change. The mouse became so confused that although it was hungry it would wait, trembling,
looking at this box and that -- and how to decide? Then he decided the thing you have
decided: he jumped between the two boxes -- but there was no food, this was not going to
help. And after a few weeks of experiment, the white mouse became mad, neurotic.
This is what is
happening to you: you have become confused -- what to do, what not to do? And the only
thing that comes to the mind is that if it is difficult to choose this, difficult to
choose that, then it is better to make a compromise, just jump in the middle. But there is
no food. Of course, there is no electric shock, but there is no food either.
You miss life if
you jump in the middle. If it were possible for the white mouse to mount both boxes, he
would have done that. These are the two possibilities which open for reasoning: mount both
horses or just jump in the middle. Intelligence, a very penetrating and keen intelligence,
is needed to understand the problem -- there is no other solution. I am not going to give
you any solution, no Jesus has given any solution to anybody; just the understanding of
the problem is the solution. You understand the problem and the problem disappears.
Is it not possible
to live without faith and without doubt, not making a compromise? ... Because the
compromise is going to be a poison: they are such contraries that your whole life will
become a contradiction, and if contradiction is there you will be divided, split;
schizophrenia will be the final result. Or, if you choose one and deny the other, then the
benefits that were possible from the other are denied you. Doubt gives you protection
against exploitation, faith gives you certainty -- drop one and the benefit of it is also
dropped. If you choose both you mount on two horses; if you make a compromise you create a
division within your being -- you are two, you become a crowd. Then what to do?
Just understand the
problem and get down from both horses -- don't make any compromise. Then a totally
different sort of being, a totally different quality to your consciousness happens. But
why are you not doing that? -- because that quality needs alertness, that quality needs
awareness. Then you need not doubt anybody, you simply have to be fully alert. Your
alertness will be the protection against exploitation.
If a fully alert
man looks at you, you cannot deceive him; his very look will disarm you. And if he allows
exploitation, it is not because you are cunning and cheating him, but because he is kind
and allows you. You cannot cheat a fully alert man. It is impossible because he looks
through you, you are transparent; he has such consciousness that you are transparent. If
he allows you to cheat him it is because of his compassion. You cannot cheat him.
This consciousness
seems to be difficult; that's why you have chosen the impossible. But the impossible is
impossible -- you only make believe that it can happen; it has never happened, it will
never happen. You have chosen the impossible because it looks easier. Compromise always
looks easier -- whenever you are in difficulty you compromise. But compromise never helps
anybody, because compromise means two contraries will exist within you; they will always
be in tension and they will divide you. And a divided man can never be happy.
This is what Jesus
means, but Christians have misunderstood him. Christians have completely missed Jesus,
because the mind goes on interpreting. What have they interpreted? They think Jesus is
saying, "Choose one horse! Either this world or that -- choose one! Don't mount two
horses, because you will be in difficulty and it is impossible. So choose one horse."
That's what they have come to conclude and interpret.
I have heard it happened: One night Mulla
Nasruddin's wife was feeling hungry, so she went in search of a midnight snack. But she
couldn't find anything, just a dog biscuit. So tentatively she tasted it, found it good,
it tasted good, so she ate it. And she liked it so much that in the morning she told
Nasruddin to get a big supply.
Nasruddin went and
purchased a lot of dog biscuits. The local grocer said, "What are you doing?...
because I know your dog is very small, you don't need such a large supply."
Nasruddin said,
"It is not for the dog, it is for my wife."
The grocer said,
"I must remind you that these biscuits are strictly for dogs, and if your wife eats
them she will die -- they are poisonous." And after six months the wife died.
One day Nasruddin
admitted to the grocer, "My wife is dead."
The grocer said,
"I told you before that those biscuits would kill your wife."
Nasruddin said,
"Those biscuits didn't kill her; it was chasing behind the cars that killed her, not
the biscuits!"
Your mind sticks to
its own conclusions, because if one conclusion is lost, your confidence is lost. So
whatsoever the situation you stick to your conclusions. That gives you ground for your ego
and your mind to stand on.
One day, Mulla
Nasruddin was walking with a very big stick which was too long for him. One friend
suggested, "Nasruddin, why don't you cut a few inches off from the bottom?"
Nasruddin said,
"That would not help -- because it is this end that is long."
Your reasoning can
be suicidal. It is! You think it is reasoning, but it is not reasoning, it is just
deceiving -- deceiving yourself. But you don't want to lose ground, you want to be
confident; and all confidence that comes through mind is false, because mind cannot give
you confidence. It can only give you false things, it can only supply you with false
things. It has not got the real thing with it, it is just a shadow. Mind is just thoughts,
shadows, nothing substantial in it. But it can go on playing rationalizations, and you
will feel good.
Christians miss the
whole point. They think Jesus is saying, "Choose!" Jesus can never say,
"Choose!" -- Jesus means choicelessness. ... Because if you choose, the choosing
mind is strengthened, not destroyed; the mind which is choosing becomes stronger through
the choice. No, it is not a question of choice. And through choice you can never be total,
because you have to deny something.
If you choose faith
you will have to deny doubt. Where will this doubt go? It is not something outward that
you can throw, it is deep in you. Where will it go? You can simply close your eyes, that's
all; you can simply repress it in the unconscious, that's all. But it is there, like a
worm, eating your consciousness. It will be there, and someday or other it will come to
the surface. What can you do? How can you drop it? If you choose doubt, where will your
faith go? It is part of you. So compromise will happen: you will become an amalgam of many
things somehow put together; not a synthesis but a compromise.
Jesus means quite
the contrary. He means, "Don't choose."
IT IS IMPOSSIBLE
FOR A MAN TO MOUNT TWO HORSES AND STRETCH TWO BOWS; AND IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR A SERVANT TO
SERVE TWO MASTERS, OTHERWISE HE WILL HONOR THE ONE AND OFFEND THE OTHER.
Look at the last
phrase: ... OTHERWISE HE WILL HONOR THE ONE AND OFFEND THE OTHER. If you choose one, you
honor the one and offend the other -- and the offended part of you will take revenge, it
will become rebellious.
It happens --
science depends on doubt, totally on doubt, no trust is allowed. So have you known, have
you observed scientists? Out of their lab they are very faithful; you cannot find more
trusting people than scientists, more easily cheated than anybody else, because their
doubt part functions in the lab and their trust part functions outside. They are simple
people as far as the outside world is concerned, but in their lab they are very cunning
and clever.
You can cheat a
scientist very easily. It is not so easy to cheat so-called religious men. In the temple
they are in deep trust, outside the temple they are very cunning. Look at the so-called
religious people: outside the temple you cannot cheat them, there is no possibility to
cheat or exploit them; but inside the temple they are very simple. They use their trust
part there, their doubt part in the world. They are good businessmen, they accumulate
wealth -- they exploit the whole world.
A scientist can
never be a good businessman, he cannot be a good politician. That is not possible, because
the doubt part is finished in the laboratory; outside, the trust part functions. A
scientist at home is totally different from a scientist in his scientific research work.
You may have heard many stories about their absent-mindedness. They happen, really happen,
they are not stories. Because he uses his attention in the lab, then outside the lab he
becomes inattentive -- he has used one part, it is finished. So he has a double life: in
the lab he is very mindful, outside the lab he becomes absent-minded.
There is a story about Albert Einstein: he
was visiting a friend and they took their dinner, they gossiped about this and that. There
was not much said because Einstein was not a man of gossip, and he was not very talkative
either. So the friend started feeling bored. And it became darker and darker, until it was
eleven o'clock at night, and now he wanted Einstein to leave. But it was impolite to say
so to such a great man, so he waited and waited. Sometimes he even gave hints, he said,
"The night is very dark," and, "It seems it is now about
eleven-thirty." But Einstein would just look and yawn -- he wanted to sleep. Then it
was almost twelve and the friend said, "I think you are feeling sleepy, because you
are yawning." That was the final hint.
Einstein said,
"Yes, I am feeling very sleepy, but I am waiting for when you go, then I can go to
sleep."
The man said,
"What are you saying? You are at my home!"
Einstein stood up
and said, "Sorry! I was continuously thinking, 'When will this man go, so I can go to
sleep?'"
In the lab, this
man is perfect as far as attention is concerned, presence is concerned. But that part is
used up there; outside the lab he is a totally different man, just the opposite.
That's why it
happens that you find a contradiction in the life of so-called religious people, it is
natural. See them praying in the temples, and look at their faces! They look so innocent,
their eyes filled with such deep emotion, tears flowing down. You cannot imagine the same
man outside, how he will look, how he will be at his shop, how he will behave when you go
to the shop. The emotional part, the trusting part, is finished in the temple, in the
mosque, in the church; when he comes out he is free of that part. Then he is as doubting
as any scientist can be, as skeptical as possible.
This is how we live
a double life, this is a compromise. Jesus is not saying, "Choose one against the
other." If you choose one against the other, the other part will be offended, and the
offended part of your being will take revenge. And it makes it very difficult, it makes
life almost impossible to live. The more you try to live with one part, the more the other
part disturbs all your planning, all your scheming; it comes up again and again. Then what
to do?
The way, the thing
to be done, is not to choose. The thing is to understand the whole contradiction of your
being. Not choosing, but becoming choiceless; not dropping one against the other --
because you cannot drop one aspect of a thing.
You have a rupee
coin, it has two aspects. You cannot drop one aspect, you cannot drop one side of it. You
may not like the other side, but you have to carry both; if you want to carry one you have
to carry two, then the whole rupee will be with you. The only thing that you can manage is
that you can hide the aspect you don't like, and the aspect you like you can put on the
surface, that's all. That's how the conscious and the unconscious are created.
The conscious is
that part, that horse that you like, and the unconscious is that horse, that part that you
don't like. The conscious is that which you have chosen, the unconscious is that against
which you have chosen. These are the two churches -- the one you go to and the one you
don't go to. Otherwise, in a man like Buddha, the conscious and the unconscious both
disappear, because he has not chosen for, he has not chosen against. The whole coin drops.
And only the whole coin can drop, half can never be dropped.
Doubt and trust are
two aspects of the same coin, just like cold and hot; they look like contraries but they
belong together. They are polarities in one whole, just like negative and positive
electricity, just like man and woman. They look like opposites, but they are polarities of
one phenomenon. You cannot drop negative electricity without dropping positive
electricity, you cannot retain one and drop the other. If you do that, your being will be
divided: the dropped, the repressed, the denied part will become the unconscious; the
accepted, the welcomed part will become the conscious. And then there will be a continuous
struggle between the conscious and the unconscious.
But you are still
mounted on two horses. The only way is to drop the whole thing, and the secret is not in
dropping -- because dropping can also become a choice. This is the most complex and subtle
thing: you can drop, and choose dropping against not dropping -- then again there are two
horses. No, this is to be done through understanding. Dropping is not the thing,
understanding is the thing.
Understand the
whole madness: what you have done to yourself, what you have allowed to happen to
yourself, what type of contradictions you have been accumulating -- just see through the
whole thing. Don't be for and against, don't condemn, don't judge -- just look through the
whole thing that you are. Don't hide, don't offend, don't judge: "This is good and
that is bad." Don't evaluate. Don't be a judge but just an onlooker, detached, a
witness. Just see the whole thing that you are, whatsoever you are; whatsoever mess you
are in, just see it as it is.
Suddenly, an
understanding arises which becomes the dropping. It is just as if you have been trying to
enter a wall, and suddenly you become aware that this is a wall and there is no door. Do
you need to drop the effort now? You simply move! That movement is simple, it is not for
and against -- you simply understand that this is absolutely useless, impossible. That is
the meaning of Jesus: you simply look; it is impossible, you move. There is no choice on
the part of the mind, you don't make any effort.
Whenever there is
understanding, it is effortless. And whenever something is effortless it is beautiful
because it is whole. Whenever there is effort there is ugliness, because it is always the
part, never the whole. Effort means deep down you are fighting against something. But why
are you fighting? -- because that which you are fighting still retains meaning for you.
The enemy also has meaning, just like the friend -- the opposite meaning, but he carries
meaning. And have you ever thought that whenever your enemy dies, something in you dies
immediately? You not only suffer from the death of your friends, you also suffer from the
death of your enemies -- you cannot remain the same.
In India it
happened: Mohammed Ali Jinnah and Mahatma Gandhi were constant fighters against each
other. Then Gandhi was murdered, and Jinnah is reported to have said, "I feel very
sad. Something in me has died." Who can Jinnah fight against now? Against whom can he
be the fighter? Against whom can he accept the challenge? The ego drops if the enemy is
not there. You are constituted of your friends and of your enemies -- you are a
contradiction.
Only he is whole
who has no enemies and no friends, who has not chosen, who has no leanings for this or for
that; who simply moves moment to moment with a choiceless awareness, and whatsoever life
brings, he allows. He floats, he is not swimming; he is not a fighter, he is in a letgo.
If you can understand this, then you will be able to understand the meaning of Jesus:
IT IS IMPOSSIBLE
FOR A MAN TO MOUNT TWO HORSES AND TO STRETCH TWO BOWS, AND IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR A SERVANT
TO SERVE TWO MASTERS, OTHERWISE HE WILL HONOR THE ONE AND OFFEND THE OTHER.
The ordinary
meaning will be, "Choose one master, don't choose two." But through choice you
will never be whole, so it is not a question of choosing one master against another,
because you will still remain a slave, you cannot be free. Only choicelessness can give
you freedom. Then you don't choose, you simply drop the whole effort -- it drops by itself
when you understand. Then you are the master.
In India, we have
been calling sannyasins, swami. Swami means, master of oneself, it means one who has
dropped choosing, it means now he accepts no master. And this is not an egoistic
understanding, this is a deep understanding that if you choose between contraries you are
a victim, if you choose between the contraries you will remain divided in the contraries.
A sannyasin is not against this world and for that one, a sannyasin is simply neither for
nor against -- he simply moves without friends and without enemies.
There is a beautiful Zen story. One
sannyasin was standing on a hilltop alone in the morning. Just like the hill he was alone,
standing unmoving, and three persons passed by who had come for a morning walk. They
looked at this man and they had different opinions as to what he was doing. One man said,
"I know that monk. Sometimes his cow is lost, so he must be standing there and
looking around the hill for the cow."
The second said,
"But by the way he is standing, he is not looking at all. He is not moving at all,
his eyes seem to be almost fixed. That is not the way that a man looks for something. I
think he must have come for a morning walk with some friend and the friend has got left
behind -- he is waiting for the friend to come."
The third said,
"That doesn't seem to be the reason, because whenever somebody waits, sometimes he
looks behind to see whether the friend has arrived or not. But he never moves, he never
looks behind. He is not waiting, that is not the posture of a waiting man. I think he is
in prayer or meditating."
They were so
divided and they became so excited about the explanations as to what he was doing, that
they thought it was better to go and ask the man himself. It was hard to go up the hill,
but they went. They reached the man and the first asked, "Are you looking for your
cow?... because I know sometimes it is lost and you have to look for it."
The man opened his
eyes and said, "I don't possess anything, so nothing can be lost. I am not looking
for any cow or anything." Then he closed his eyes.
The second man
said, "Then I must be right -- you are waiting for a friend who is left behind."
The man opened his
eyes and said, "I have no enemies and no friends, so how can I wait for anybody? I am
alone -- I have not left anybody behind, because there is nobody. I am alone, totally
alone."
Then the third
said, "Then I must be absolutely right because there is no other possibility. I hope
you are praying, meditating."
The man laughed and
he said, "You are the most foolish because I don't know anybody to whom I can pray
and I don't have any object to achieve, so how can I meditate?"
Then all three
simultaneously asked, "Then what are you doing?"
The man said,
"I am just standing, I am not doing anything at all."
But this is what
meditation is, and this is what sannyas is: just being. Then you have a freedom -- freedom
from friends, enemies; freedom from possession, nonpossession; freedom from this world and
that; freedom from matter and mind -- freedom from all choices and divisions. Then the
impossible is dropped and you become natural, you become Tao, then you float.
When the impossible
effort is gone, anxiety disappears, then you are no longer in anguish. And when you are no
longer in anguish, bliss arises. Bliss is not something to be achieved. You only have to
create the capacity. When you are not in anguish, bliss happens. You have created the
capacity, you have opened the door and the sunrays enter and fill you. As you are,
anxiety-ridden, divided, mounted on two horses, trying to stretch two bows together, you
are schizophrenic, you are ill, you are wavering. Or, at the most, you have made a
compromise and you have become normally neurotic.
A normal being
somehow carries on his work; the neurosis does not come in the way, that's all -- an
adjusted citizen, that's all. But it is not worthwhile. Even if you are an adjusted
citizen, a good citizen, a normal human being, no ecstasy will happen to you. You will
remain sad, and whatsoever you achieve in this world will give you more sadness. Look at
the people who have succeeded, who are ahead of you, who have reached the top, and you
will see they are more sad than people who are not so successful -- because their hope is
lost.
One morning, Mulla Nasruddin was walking
towards the market very sad. And a friend asked, "What has happened?"
Nasruddin said,
"Don't ask me! I am so sad and so depressed that I could cry."
But the friend
insisted, "But what is the matter? We have never seen you so sad. You have been in so
many difficulties, financial and otherwise, but we have never seen you so sad and
depressed. What is the matter? What has happened?"
Mulla Nasruddin
said, "Two weeks ago, one of my uncles died and he left one hundred thousand rupees
for me."
The friend said,
"Nasruddin, have you gone mad? If your uncle has left one hundred thousand rupees for
you, you should be happy not sad."
Nasruddin said,
"Yes, that's so -- but last week, my other uncle died and he has left two hundred
thousand rupees for me."
The man said,
"Then you are completely out of your mind -- you should dance and rejoice and
celebrate, because there is no reason to be unhappy! You are the happiest man in this
town!"
Nasruddin said,
"That I know -- but I have no more uncles. That makes me sad."
That's what happens
when a man succeeds: when you have no more uncles, then suddenly, no hope. A man who is a
failure still hopes, can hope; there are still uncles, the possibility exists. The more
success, the more anxiety, because the success will bring your neurosis up, the success
will reveal to you your schizophrenia. That's why in America there is more schizophrenia,
more madness than in any other country, because America has succeeded in many ways.
In a poor country
there is not so much madness. People can still hope. And when you can hope, nothing comes
up -- you go on running and running. When the goal is achieved, then you stand still and
you have to look at yourself and at what a mess you have created in your being, what
chaos. You suddenly go out of your mind. You have always been out of your mind, but it is
revealed when you succeed, because when there is no more to dream about, you have to
encounter yourself. As you are, bliss is not possible, happiness is impossible. You can
only hope for it and tolerate the pain, the suffering that you have brought upon yourself.
But bliss is
possible; it has happened to a Jesus, to a Buddha, it can happen to you -- but then you
have to leave the impossible aside. Think of the natural, the possible, the easy. Don't
think of the impossible, the difficult, the challenging. The ego always likes to do the
impossible, but it is a failure, it has to be a failure. But the ego likes to take the
challenge of the impossible, because then you feel you are something. Against an
impossible goal you become a great fighter.
And religion is
simple, easy, natural -- it is not riding on a horse at all. It is just a morning walk not
going anywhere. Just walking is the end; not doing anything in particular, just enjoying
the morning breeze, the sun, the birds -- just enjoying yourself.
Enough for today. |
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